Leaving radio at the end of August 2023, just two years before turning 50, caught many people by surprise. It wasn’t a decision I made lightly, nor one I made overnight. In fact, it was a decision that quietly unfolded over five years and then screamed until I couldn’t avoid it any longer.
Radio isnβt like a corporate job with a clear path to the top. Itβs riddled with uncertainty and instability, so I was no stranger to constant reality checks. But this time was different. This time, the questions cut like a knife.
Was my frustration because I’d reached a career plateau? Could I just be anxious about the future? Did I want to leave to join another station β or do something completely different? If so, what? Was I tired of yet another company rebrand? How could I still want to be on radio but be so unhappy at the same time? Am I uneasy because the market was shifting? Is this burnt out? Or was this a midlife crisis? Was this all there was to life? What could I do to stop feeling this way?
None of the alternative solutions I considered seemed to suffice. But the constant, nagging feeling that had forced me to start saving for my exit plan five years earlier kept saying the same thing:
Leave.
Walking Away Without Knowing What Was Next
Having survived the world of entertainment and media for over 30 years, I always had something lined up. I moved effortlessly from my career as a fitness professional into dancing and singing. Winning Talentime 2001 with my girl band soon led to acting, theatre, TV presenting and radio. Every next step naturally presented itself before I left the last one.
This was the first time I was leaving for the great unknown.
I attributed my disillusionments and dissatisfaction to the competitive yet finicky nature of the media industry. But hereβs what I discovered after I walked away from the padded confines of my radio studio.
I wasnβt alone.
I wasnβt the only one questioning a career that no longer felt right. I wasnβt the only one wondering how the workplace had suddenly changed around me. I wasnβt the only professional in my late 40s asking whether I still had a place in an industry that seemed to value youth over experience.
The Stereotypical Midlife Crisis is Outdated
Weβve all heard the unflattering phrase βover the hillβ jokingly tossed about. Itβs used to define the turning point from age 40, or some say 50, where everything goes downhill.
And who can forget the chauvinistic clichΓ© of midlife personified. Perpetuated by Hollywood movies as the typical tubby, balding man in his 40s chasing skirts in a shirt two sizes too small. This caricature of a desperate man trading in his sensible sedan and his long-suffering wife for newer, sleeker models immediately comes to mind.Β
The proverbial midlife crisis has always had a rather unsexy image attached to it. The fear of ageing manifesting in drastic, often ridiculous and embarrassing lifestyle changes.
Originally brought on by the realization that the years ahead are fewer than the years behind, the triggers of a midlife crisis have since evolved. In the 1980s, when average life expectancy was around 71 years and retirement at age 55, it struck earlier. Back then it was between the ages of 35-45. Usually, once this hump was addressed, this urgency for change subsided. One could move on and settle somewhat comfortably into the second half of life.
From Ageing Anxiety to Existential Anxiety
Today the peak emotional intensity of a midlife crisis surfaces a little later, between 45-55, especially for Gen Xers. But this time, we no longer have a predictable roadmap towards retirement. Most of us are not even sure if we will make it there in one piece.
Especially when rapidly changing technology affects not just how we work but raises questions if we will still have work. Our race against time is even more compressed and accelerated. The increasing pressure to succeed made more intense by relentless social comparison on digital media. The fear is no longer just about getting old, but the fear of running out of time to become who we still want to be. We are no longer desperately clinging to youth but to our jobs.Β
Coined by Canadian psychoanalyst Elliott Jaques in 1965, the term midlife crisis describes a depressing period of disillusionment. It begins when we confront our own mortality and question whether the life we’ve built matches up to our expectations.
But decades before Jaques published his landmark paper, Death and the Mid-Life Crisis, the founder of analytical psychology, Carl Jung, proposed a very different way of understanding the second half of life.
He didn’t see it as the beginning of our decline. He saw it as the beginning of our becoming. Not a crisis to fear but an awakening to embrace.
All we had to do was accept the invitation.
The New Midlife Crisis: From Sports Cars to Self-Discovery
Our changing relationship with time and an increasingly unpredictable economy may be why today’s epicentre of this uncomfortable encounter with our unmet ambitions doesn’t arrive neatly at 40.
Modern day pressures and our fast pace of life means a midlife crisis can hit anywhere between 35 to 60. Usually triggered by career stagnation, changing expectations, health scares, retrenchment, caregiving stress, identity shifts, loneliness or divorce. Itβs rarely caused by just one thing. More often, itβs the cumulative effect of several events that finally turns our attention inwards.
Early midlife, 35-45 may experience this shift differently. With a whole decade ahead of those of us in the 45-60 bracket, they have a longer runway to experiment. They can afford to make mistakes, change direction and build again. With youth on their side, they are also in a better position to get a head start on preserving their mobility and metabolic health, rather than waiting for biological changes to force the issue.
Midlife Is a Turning Point, Not a Dead End
Generations before us were forced to focus on survival. Thankfully, we have the cultural permission to question whether our lives are fulfilling enough. This is a luxury we must indulge in. Because this period of reckoning is more than just a single bump to get over. It is the start of an ongoing conversation with ourselves and a call for continual recalibration. And isn’t that a far more exciting prospect than simply accepting our most interesting years are behind us?
While some might still stubbornly believe that reckless rebellion is the answer to escaping reality, many others are turning to fitness-driven social activities like pickleball or padel. We now have more constructive tools to deal with this panic around aging. We get to choose Hyrox over botox. Sports over sports cars. Therapy over adultery. And weight lifting over a face lift.
For others seeking more inward-looking outlets, it’s sourdough baking, gardening, pottery or oil painting. For me, it was candle making and writing and self-publishing my cookbook series. What seemed like random creative detours in the midst of a massive career stagnation, were actually the first signs that something inside me was craving change and connection.Β
Candle making eventually became the catalyst that gave me the courage to leave my radio career β and the sanctuary I needed while I figured out what came next.
Why Starting Over Feels Harder and How To Overcome It
Do not be quick to dismiss these creative or sporty pursuits as mere midlife hobbies. These attempts to reconnect with the parts of ourselves that we neglected while we fulfilled our responsibilities are the key to longevity.
And neuroscience proves it. As we age, our dopamine receptors decline affecting how we process reward and motivation. Which is why we become more risk-averse in our older age. But also why it becomes harder to start new projects, let alone a new career.Β
But something interesting also happens. We move from being a collector of βmoreβ to a curator of βmeaningβ. This leads us to naturally seek inspiration over motivation. As dopamine receptors decline, the raw, energetic drive to relentlessly chase external targets fades. The brain shifts its reliance toward serotonin, oxytocin, and endorphins, which are neurochemicals linked to emotional depth, social connection, and contentment.
As dopamine receptors drop, your brain loses interest in the endless cycle of “getting” and becomes far more sensitive to “being” and creating legacy. You no longer want the frantic energy of motivation; you want the deep, resonant alignment of inspiration.
We Need More Inspiration than Motivation in Midlife
Motivation thrives on lack. It tells you, “You don’t have this thing yet, so go get it.” And when we are in our 20s-40s, this energy is what helps us set goals and achieve the things we need as we build our lives and sense of self.
Inspiration thrives on abundance. It pulls you naturally towards what genuinely matters when you no longer have the energy to chase external validation. So as we reach that crucial midpoint of our lives, we are going to be more inclined to connect existing dots and pursue the things that reflect our internal values.Β
We need both at all stages of our lives because inspiration without motivation leads to stagnation and motivation without inspiration leads to burnout. But as we age we need a different approach. To chemically support your remaining dopamine receptors, prioritise resistance training and protect your sleep. And switch from a force-based strategy to one sparked by creativity and curiosity.Β
When Curiosity and Creativity Become a Compass in Midlife
Creativity is not some special trait reserved only for talented individuals like professional artists or rockstars. The desire to create and express ourselves is in all of us and has been since we were born. Creativity is not a frivolous activity or a form of mindless recreation but a chance to explore our imagination and play with possibilities.Β
Research supports that creativity and curiosity not only help improve problem solving skills, they keep your sense of awe and wonder alive while ensuring psychological flexibility. They encourage us to remain open to new experiences, consider different perspectives and expand our capacity to adapt β a quality that becomes increasingly important as we navigate the inevitable changes of midlife and beyond.Β
Creativity gives us permission to experiment without knowing the outcome. Curiosity gives us a reason to keep exploring. Together, they help us stay mentally engaged, challenge the assumption that we already know how things should be done, and remain open to the possibility that there is more than one way forward.
Creativity Helps Build Resilience
This helps us build resilience and the courage to face uncertainties. Because whether itβs CrossFit or launching a candle and cookbook range as a side hustle, or both, no oneβs midpoint looks exactly the same.Β
And that’s why we find ourselves at a loss when it happens to us.
Even Carl Jung warns how βthoroughly unprepared we take the step into the afternoon of life; worse still we take this step with the false assumption that our truths and ideals will serve us as hitherto. But we cannot live the afternoon of life according to the program of lifeβs morning; for what was great in the morning will be little at evening, and what in the morning was true will at evening have become a lie.β
What is important is that we acknowledge this shift and lean into it with curiosity. Because ignoring it will only lead to denial and discomfort. And then you would have missed this crucial turning point that literally defines how well you live out your next chapter.
The question then is not what should you do when your midlife crisis hits, but what will it ask of you when it does?
Because something must change.
Why Midlife is an Opportunity for Reinvention
Drawing on decades of findings from the Harvard Study of Adult Development, its current director Dr Robert Waldinger frequently reminds us that the more we resist change, the more we suffer. But what exactly are we being asked to change in midlife? And arenβt we too old to change?Β
Contrary to the limiting belief that you “can’t teach an old dog new tricks”, psychological development continues throughout adulthood and doesnβt stop. Research shows that we not only continue to grow as we age, but that our creativity deepens as does our crystallised intelligenceβthe knowledge, judgement and expertise accumulated over a lifetime.
This can lead us to want something more. However this new ambition seeks something different. Not more achievement. But more alignment. And more authenticity.
Midlife is the encore, the second birth, a chance for you to create your own identity and live according to the values and beliefs you choose β not the ones that were thrust upon you or that your past forced you to accept.
Itβs calling us to rise, reset and reclaim the life we were always meant to lead. But in order to gain all that is ours to grab, we need to change our definition of success, our relationship with money and how we approach our health and fitness.
Perhaps the first thing we need to change is our mindset.
Stop Calling it a Midlife Crisis
Many researchers consider the traditional βmidlife crisisβ concept a myth. Meanwhile, the stereotypical image of a midlife crisis makes this season seem shameful and desperate when itβs really a pivotal period of promise and possibilities.
Margie Lachman, a leading midlife researcher, assures us that itβs absolutely normal to look backward and forward and recalibrate. In fact, only 25% of respondents In the MIDUS (Midlife in the United States) research said they had experienced a midlife crisis.
So maybe we’ve simply been given the wrong name for a very normal human process: waking up to the fact that we still have a whole lot of life left to shape.
In essays such as The Stages of Life (1930β31), Jung argued that the goals of youth β building a career, family and identity are no longer sufficient in midlife. Instead, the task becomes individuation. This is the process of integrating different parts of the self we had to suppress in our search for financial success, status and stability.
Not necessarily the fear of death that lies ahead, but the fear of making peace with our past. Because when we take stock of the life weβve lived, we will have to sift through all of our unfinished business, unresolved grief and untapped potential.
So calling it a crisis is counterproductive when what you are experiencing is not a breakdown. It is not failure, instability, or proof that you made the wrong choices.
It is, in fact, the opposite. It is your most capable, most clear-eyed self finally refusing to stay silent. It is asking you to pay attention to the person you are still becoming and to explore the wisdom, generativity, and lasting contribution that only the second half of life can offer.
Why Turning 50 Was Transformative
I am writing this article just after turning 51. And I can’t believe how long it has taken me to get to a place of clarity about my next chapter as a Media and Midlife Performance Coach.Β . This article marks three whole years that I handed in my resignation from my radio show.
Career pivots are not always smooth nor swift. But it had to happen. Especially when my birthday month has repeatedly forced me to confront the preciousness of life, my purpose and my progress.
You see, August is not just a month of new beginnings and celebration but also that of three death anniversaries that had a profound impact on my life. The day after I turned 40, my beloved maternal grandmother passed away at 83. A year earlier, my brotherβs friend died in a tragic train accident in Thailand just ten days before his 30th birthday on Singaporeβs National Day. And then 10 days after my birthday in 2020, my former radio boss, Jamie Meldrum, the industry legend who hired me, passed away unexpectedly at just 50.
All of these unexpected deaths at age 29, 50 and 83 were a sad and sobering reminder that time is promised to no one. I knew I couldnβt cross into my 50s staying stuck in one place.
I didnβt realize it then but this combination of events stacked upon each other at this exact intersection called midlife is what leads many people to question their next direction. If you have experienced death, loss, grief, career stagnation, retrenchment, health issues and hormonal shifts like perimenopause this feeling of disillusionment is perfectly normal. Instead of fearing it, embrace it as a wake up call to make changes that the magic happens and new possibilities unfold,
Season of Inevitable Change
Unlike most other professions, there is no corporate ladder to climb in showbiz or as a radio presenter. There is no automatic promotion waiting for me just because Iβve accumulated 30 years of experience. Experience alone doesn’t create the next opportunity. If I wanted a next chapter, I had to build the stage myself.
But not everyone needs a career change, like I did. It doesnβt mean you need to start a business, move to Bali or completely reinvent your life. Sometimes, improving how you communicate or intentionally becoming more visible at work, can make all the difference. Sometimes, you just need help finding your spark so you can get clear about what really matters. And for many of us in midlife, especially women navigating perimenopause, what we need first is a health reboot to get our energy and focus back.
This is ultimately why I created The Encore Performance Method β to help midlife professionals at these crossroads identify what needs to change. Your midlife awakening is not about starting over. It is about deciding what deserves to come next.
My goal is to help you continue to burn bright without burning out β and make sure the next chapter is one you choose for yourself.
How Do You Know What Needs to Change?
A midlife awakening doesn’t come with a checklist telling you what to do next. And there certainly isn’t a one-size-fits-all prescription. So I developed The Encore Performance Methodβ’, a five-pillar system designed to help you identify what actually needs your attention when something no longer feels quite right.
VISION β Where am I going? Vision is about direction, purpose and whether the future you’re building still feels meaningful to you. It helps you reconnect with what you want next when your old definition of success no longer fits.
VITALITY β Do I have the energy to live the life I want? Vitality looks at the physical and mental foundations that support how you live, work and perform. It asks whether burnout, stress, sleep, health or hormonal changes are affecting your ability to show up at your best.
VOICE β Am I expressing what I need and believe? Voice is about communication, confidence, boundaries, influence and the ability to express yourself with clarity. As your career evolves, it also means being able to present, lead, speak publicly and communicate your expertise with authority.
VISIBILITY β Am I being seen and recognised? Visibility is about how you position yourself and whether the value you bring is visible to the people who matter. It encompasses professional presence, personal branding, digital presence, executive presence and, where relevant, media exposure.
PLAY β What am I curious about now? Play creates room for creativity, experimentation and exploration without the pressure to perform. Curiosity can open doors that a purely achievement-driven mindset would never think to look for.
The Next Chapter Is Yours to Write
The real opportunity of midlife is not to cling to youth or the person you were, but to allow your true self to emerge by integrating every version of you. Your midlife awakening is not the end of the story. It is the moment you realise you still have a say in how the next chapter unfolds. Because the moment it feels like everything is falling apart, is actually when itβs falling into place.Β Β
As Carl Jung famously said, βLife really begins at forty. Until then, you are just doing research.β
Cheryl Miles is a certified nutrition coach, media trainer, and creator of The Encore Performance Method: Backstage to Spotlight.
